Ode to the perfect man, read to me...no wait, lets hold hands and skip

Okay, where am I going with this? I don't know, but why don't we go on a journey together?

I know I realize I bash the penis every chance I get.. ( no I am not an angry lesbian, nothing wrong with being a lesbian, I just hate that male organ for other reasons) ...

Anyway, first of all it is the ugliest thing I have EVER seen. Now, before you go getting your panties in a bunch, I know I am not much to look at either, but I can at least admit that with some dignity. Looks are trivial, so putting that aside, Know this: I do exist! No, I don`t want sex because you think I am being coy with you. Talk with me first, know me and then we will see where this leads. I AM NOT A WHORE!! and before you all start pointing fingers, this is to all and no one in particular

Okay that out of the way, I am sick of feeling like I have to compete for a lousy date with people, what makes you so special, that I get put on the back burner? I just want a chance, a chance at life and all it has to offer and not have to force myself to be something I am not for the sake of something you think and I know I will never be.

I want to wake up beside you (morning breath and all), and still feel the butterflies like a first kiss. I want to know you will be there even when I am going through my "John Cusack, lover to Alan Rickman, dead on a toilet" phase. I want to be in perfect union with you, like warm rain on a sunday afternoon.

Does he exist ? Will it be with me?

Watch me lament and cry the sweet salty tears of ignorant love.

I have bared my wrists, do you care to take the first slice as I fade into the background?!

http://www.imeem.com/people/oNjf6/music/NzK0fuSb/alan_rickman_dark_harbor_poem/

You know,

I look at you and it’s funny,

you don’t remind me of myself exactly

but you remind me of a certain time,

I remember what I used to think love was then;

that it was the fireworks, the explosions, the highlights,

and it's not,
It’s time!

To go through the seasons together

through change

through the ups and downs,

to be able to look at your beloved in the eye

and say,"We did that together as one,we chose each other above all others".

That’s love.

It’s unexplainable.

It’s a secret that can only be known

once you’ve done the time.

~Alan Rickman in Dark Harbour

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Hello Ruby Red, Let the game begin...

Well it is the day after....
We are too old to all night movie marathons, even if it is 'Jigsaw'.
The tea was yummy, the pie light and fluffy and I hate waiting for non-existant buses....
What do you want for your birthday?
----------------------------------------------------------------

"Rise and shine, 'Steven'. You're probably wondering where you are. I'll tell you where you might be. You might be in the room that you die in. Up until now, you've simply sat in the shadows watching others live out their lives. But what do voyeurs see when they look into the mirror? Now I see you as a strange mix of someone angry, yet apathetic. But mostly just pathetic. So are you going to watch yourself die here today, 'Steven', or do something about it? "

Thanks for spending time with some old classy ladies, it meant a lot. Its great having a penis around, gives a whole different perspective... even if you won't quit ;-)

Mad Hatter Wishes...

The moon has come full circle, and what have I learned this year. I think this poem I found sums it pretty good:

Another year gone by, so fast

How did it get away

How many steps not taken yet

How many gone astray?

And does it really matter friend

One misstep here or there

Do we get older, wiser not

As we walk through each year.

Look at each birthday as a start

To realize a dreamAnd thus the years will after all

Not really mean a thing.

Within you still a child believes

In magic and in dreams

Adulthood only hides those things

And yet they still remain.

May love and happiness prevail

And all your dreams come true

Be positive and trust yourself

This is my wish for you.

~ Helga Wilson

The Sky is Over

Everybody knows Everybody knows

That you cradle the sun (sun)

Living in remorse Sky is over

Don't you want to hold me baby?

Disappointed, going crazy

Even though we can't afford

The sky is over

Even though we can't afford

The sky is over

I don't want to see you go

The sky is over

Even though we can't afford

The sky is over Behind closed eyes lie

The minds ready to awaken you

Are you at war with land

And all of it's creatures

Your not-so-gentle persuasion

Has been known to wreck economies

Of countries, of empires, the sky is over

Don't you want to hold me baby?

Disappointed, going crazy lalala lalalalalala lalala lalalalalala

Not even from the sun (lalala lalalalalala)

Not even from the sun (lalala lalalalalala)

Not even from the sun Don't you want me to run?

Even though you can't afford

The sky is over

Even though we can't afford

The sky is over I don't want to see you go

The sky is over

Even though we can't afford

The sky is over

I don't want to see you go

The sky is over

Even though we can't afford

The sky is over

I don't want to see you go

The sky is over

Even though we can't afford

The sky is over

The sky is over us.

~Serj Tankian

Postal...or Bust

Practically another year has passed and I am heading towards the anniversary of the day I escaped from the womb. The passage of time seems to elude me, into thinking there is some greater purpose, but the ironic thing is: 'Only time will tell.'

Yes, imagine the Dragon has issues, just as the rest of the world. Some I have delt with, and others chose to move to the land of denial ( I hear its great this time of year.)

Where did all the logic go? Did I miss something along the way? Now I am lost somewhere in ellusive timespace where parents scream of 'no notices on the notice board, the green chair is ruining my life and you had a bad relationship/abused because you left the lights and computer on"---> Oh yes these arguements did occur. Alright you can stop laughing now, and tell me how to deal with utter stupidity?!

As much as I would like to think that 'Out of the Ashes' was born as an emmaculate concept.... No, HE WAS!! , Dealing with 'The Shithole of Darkness" surfaces every now and again. All I can say to stupid fucking penis' whom ignore something so beautiful as THAT BEING... Fuck you. hell will not be kind to that lack of soul you currently possess.

Vengence on those who make this world ... yes oh so perfect that it is... start thinking ... DAMN IT !! ---> "15 FUCKING CENTS!!!" (Thanks Dane Cook, you help.. a little)

I am going to be selfish for a second here... here's what I WANT:

- Candlelite Dinner, The Opera...A Proper date if you will!!
- My son to live in utter happiness and tranquility
- Alan Rickman - to read to me every night.
-People to actively follow the declaration of human rights
- Happily Ever After, for everyone, yes even you RUBY... we shall possess it one day!

Selfish I know.

Foamy beckons to me, he will make it all better, DAMN squirrel.

Closet Land

In todays world of fast paced, medication driven, hatred flinging, depressed zombies I find I feel.... NOTHING!!

That is it, my life has me so numb to all the atrocities I see, I know not how to begin to deal with anything. (Mmmm a steaming cup of apathy) What is the point to anything, my life is nothing more then caring for a toodler (who yes, does make life a little more interesting) , so that what? He can grow to hate his life as we all hate our's in one form or another?! Is this the legacy we leave for our future generations: fear and judge those that are different from you, try to mix religion and politics and and damn those who's beliefs system differs from your own. Ignore the sick and the poor, maybe they will go away.

I think I have the answer of what Phoenix and I are going to do tonight.... Invite a few people from the circus, a few H.I.V patients and those of the homeless and we are going to have a good old fashion druidic ceremony unders the stars, heck I'll even invite George W. Bush. We will move back in time to those of the more simplistic nature. Making our own clothes, farming our own food, respecting one another without the need of a feudal system. Oh wait that would make us hippies and we all know how that generation turned out.... yes we all are fucked one way or another and there is no way out of the shit hole.

Oh well ... anyone know the way to Avalon??

Proust Recitation - Alan Rickman

"I think life would suddenly seem wonderful to us if we were threatened to die.

Just think of how many projects, travels, love affairs, studies it--our life--hides from us, made invisible by our laziness which, certain of a future, delays them incessantly.

But let all this threaten to become impossible forever, how beautiful it would become again!

Ah! if only the cataclysm doesn't happen this time, we won't miss visiting the new galleries at the Lourve, throwing ourselves at the feet of Miss X, making a trip to India.

The cataclysm doesn't happen, we don't do any of it, because we find ourselves back in the heart of normal life, where negligence deadens desire.

And yet we shouldn't have needed the cataclysm to love life today.
It would have been enough to think that we are humans, and that death may come this evening."

~ Proust

Depths of the mind....

She ! A demoness from hell, never knowing her true place.
He! The highest order of seraphim.
Together and apart, they are nothing more then pawns.

She ! calls out to him, to feel his presence.
He! torn between that which he knows and that which he wants.
Lost are they among the shadows of their minds.

She! wanting his forgiveness for her being born.
He! forsakes for the sweetness of her embrace.
Calling out to the powers which will not give them that which they truly desire.

She! cannot live this way, tears and blood are all that is left.
He! searches the world for his beloved to never find her again.
There are things so much worse then death.

- Disturbed Blue Dragon -2008

A heart that is broken, in time will mend but the journey is something I am sick of taking. Besides no one gave me a map?!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YxQrPXPSVhQ

My Immortal:

"I'm so tired of being here
Suppressed by all my childish fears
And if you have to leave
I wish that you would just leave'
Cause your presence still lingers here
And it won't leave me alone
These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase

[Chorus:]When you cried I'd wipe away all of your tears
When you'd scream I'd fight away all of your fears
And I held your hand through all of these years
But you still have
All of me

You used to captivate me
By your resonating light
Now I'm bound by the life you left behind
Your face it haunts
My once pleasant dreams
Your voice it chased away
All the sanity in me

These wounds won't seem to heal
This pain is just too real
There's just too much that time cannot erase

[Chorus]
I've tried so hard to tell myself that you're gone
But though you're still with meI've been alone all along

[Chorus]"

~Evanescence

My Blessings

* Thank you everyone whom never wished me a happy birthday for without you I wouldn't have remembered what an unspecial day a birthday can be.

* Thank you to my parents for without you I never would have loathed the world as much as I do.

* Thank you to the ignorant, racist, sexist, lazy people who don't give a fuck for its you who makes the world go round.

* Thank you to the bedroom voices amongst us.

* Thank you to the human race who always makes me laugh.

* Thank you to those who never believed in me, take comfort in the fact its your fault I am , who I am today.

* Thank you to deites and their sense of humour, I mean the orgasim face.. only a comedian....

* Thank you to the music of the night. I have always embraced you.

* Teachers and Mentors, I saw what you tried to do for me, and thank you for at least trying, even when I wasn't willing to listen.

* Thank you to writers, for it gives me the ability to loose myself in another place.

* Thank you to every Newfoundlander (Geoff, GBS, Steve) I have had the pleasure of meeting . Truly, the most polite people I know.

* Thanks you to the few who saw me through the "rock n' roll" days and still are with me now.

* Thank you to my son, the only good thing in this world.

Hey you, the walking billboard!!

Through your ego,
that makes you justified in....
the killings, racism, ignorance, waste etc??
You blame whomever is within an armreach,
forget the scapegoats, cuz goats make cheese.
Watch more porn!
Take bigger shits!
We live in a world where "Indians" aren't from India and semen is treated like a condement
Oh we all have fallen.
Eat Dirt!
A child dies of starvation every 4 seconds... would you like another espresso with that?
How maybe people in sweat shops made your outfit?

Alan Rickman Sonnet 130 Recitation

http://www.imeem.com/berezovaia/music/4CvQNsHT/alan_rickman_130_sonnet/

SONNET 130:
"My mistress' eyes are nothing like the sun; Coral is far more red than her lips' red;
If snow be white, why then her breasts are dun;
If hairs be wires, black wires grow on her head.
I have seen roses damask'd, red and white, But no such roses see I in her cheeks;
And in some perfumes is there more delight Than in the breath that from my mistress reeks.
I love to hear her speak, yet well I know That music hath a far more pleasing sound;
I grant I never saw a goddess go; My mistress, when she walks, treads on the ground:
And yet, by heaven, I think my love as rare As any she belied with false compare."