"What did we learn on the show tonight, Craig?"

Hmmm well for one thing, I learned that the Canadian government is on the back of a giant turtle. Oh yeah, I know, who would have thunk it? To think that the jokes... I mean, leaders of this country need to definitely take swimming lessons, because no one swims in Canada, is down right preposterous. The turtle could dive at any moment and we have nothing but an old pair of skates from the 1970's and a bad cup of coffee... damn you Stephan Harper... damn you!

I think of the three comedians I would like to obtain salmonella over a cheap dinner with, I have come to this conclusion:
-Lewis Black, I feel after reading your book, 'Me of Little Faith', religious ranting can be sexy but I feel I would have to wear a diaper around you, and not just over the salmonella either.
-Colin Mochrie, the internal voice in my head. Rubbing your beautiful shiny head would bring me much joy or at least some good luck.
- Craig Ferguson, I have always been a sucker for an accent. You can come to my house and act inappropriate anytime.

I am reading (always reading, try it sometime you ignorant sods.) John Ralston Saul's: 'A Fair Country'. Quite a read, really, and not because he is married to Adrienne Clarkson, even though that could be a compelling argument there. He truly puts Canada in her place.

I am also now looking to count on anyone BUT myself. Is there anyone sane left out there? I am even looking to sent out a call via space communication. Men are idiots, women are idiots ( see, I believe in equality). I think the movie 'Must Love Dogs' puts it all in perspective. But online ads , are you fucking kidding me?, they suck. Lets learn to mingle as people first, like the good old days, and fuck I am only 24 and feel like I grew up during the depression. Now society's collective stupidity IS leading me to depression. No, people, just because I talk to some people online does not mean I want to fuck you, and even when I say I DON'T WANT TO FUCK YOU, they still don't take the hint. Do I have to come through your screen and stab you multiple times for you to get the hint.

Well okay in reality we didn't learn anything new today, just reiterated what I always felt, and those who know put up with on a daily basis (thank you, you sick fucks).