Globalization and the "Cultural Supermarket"

Hey 'Old Man',

There is nothing here, tradition... praxis is gone, gone to be replaced by a walmart and a starbucks. What do I feel like being today?... In the now, its a surprise that I FEEL anything. Damn you apathy, damn you ignorance, damn you culture of commercialism. We have lost the ability to be human.

I see you running to your religions, your 'ways of life' to seek that which was/is lost, but the fact is, you are not LIVING it, you are just talking about it. Talk is cheap. Rationality and sacrifice: The Art of Doing.

If there is one thing that does not invoke a sense of fear nor irrational danger is the ability to know what you need, not what you want.Take the plunge and consume less.

'I love you' is so cliche, hmmmm... so, will you be my John Cusack?

I shall forever be damned to haunt these hills as the hermit of eternity. I am pained by this darkness, and the echos of silence. These lyrics, fuck this song... speaks volumes about my distorted reality, my myth.

I exist for no one. No one to sleep in on Sunday afternoons with, nothing but the sound of the rain overhead. No one to tell me stories in the fire, sipping wine and lost in the leather bounds of grand adventures. Star gazing, mapping out dreams of future promises.

This Byronic hero does not exist, just as I do not. I merely breathe, but I do not exist. I hear him, somewhere, I hear him, feel him, there is a familiar taste, among strangers ... alas he too runs to hide from me as well.

If eyes are the windows to ones soul, please enlighten me and tell me what you see, what do you see in one who does not have a soul?

Ancora Imparo

I am listening, truly listening, to the silence;
What does it say with its vibrant colours and baritone voice?
It beckons me to its silky depths of oblivion.
Do I have the strength to hang on this time?
The winds of the past are strong, always threatening to lead me astray.
Come with me, through the ancient corridors of my mind, I am scared of its shadows.
I juxtapose your innocence, your light.
Help me stay afloat...
I shall always be an outsider:
Listen, truly listen

DisturbedBlueDragon 2008
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This collective consciousness is sickening, I shall break away. I realize ones family/friends is supposed to be the epitome of importance and love, this has never nor will ever be the case... why you ask: I despise irrational thoughts and actions. Growing up/living in a world where those who you accept into your bubble act only in what is best for them is very tiring things indeed.

No one pays attention nor listens, they just wait for their turn to speak. I listen, I give advice, I take everyones shit, this is my (please forgive the pun) 'cross' to bare. It seems to be my destiny to allow the masses to be reckless with my heart and time, to use as they see fit. Yes, I get it, you all feel so shitty about your life and your decisions, that now you must 'pay it forward' upon those who care. Thank you.

The ony saving grace is that of that which rises from the ashes my 'Phoenix'. Please grow up knowing that life truly is what you make it and the world needs someone who is thankful and puts forth the ideals that are not corrupted nor for personal acceptance and pleasure.

Lets go save this forsaken world because I despise apathy and ignorance.

Today's public rant has been brought to you by a great philosophy:

The fundamental difference between nice people and good people is this - nice people dream, and talk about changing the world, but they lack the courage to make the sacrifices required to do it - good people are willing to make the sacrifices, and do change the world.
R. Dart (Poli-Sc prof)

Thoust be nothing more than decaying organic matter

Hi, I am Jack's secret stalker who wishes for a good fuck...

How does it feel to be the middle child of civilization? Contributing nothing but taught to want everything. To think, all shall become millionaires (billionaires), happily married with/without 2.3 children (whichever your preference), and all the things required to live on "Wisteria Lane", and yet not working or at least doing the least amount of work for it.

Just think of those poor unfortunate souls who assume they ARE their possessions, they ARE their condo living, ikea furniture, 2-3 cars, buying up the planet Starbucks. How does it feel? I bet you are happy aren't you? Yes, think you are special, think you are unique, think you 'deserve to be' happy... why?

Have you ever just lived for the sake of living? Let go of the conventional ways and let the chips fall. What are you? Whom will you become? If you were to die now, would you be happy with your life? what do you wish you had done?

Learn to fuck.. do not fuck because you have to, do not fuck because you want to. There is nothing in that, thus nothing to you.. you are nothing. Fuck because it is an art, fuck to make this art real, fuck to hear the music, fuck to make music. Fucking is as primitive as it comes, go back to the biological roots and sore beyond, fuck to the beginning, and live in that time... and then ask questions

You ask why do I do all of this: why do you put yourself in debt for school? Because I like pain... no I love pain, I bathe in its glory. I love the social sciences and there is only so much you can learn in the real world and only so much you can learn academically, and I wish to learn from both ends of the stick.... and from this enlighten the world.

Please note: Deconstructivism in progress.

Life has been (for lack of a better term, or in this case running of oversimplification) very busy. Classes have been engaging and complex, I actually may make the dean's list (90% average) which for all you kiddies out there: High school is a joke ( at its current standing), I did terrible in my lesser years and lone and behold, my marks are much better (maybe this is because I am paying the equivilant of my soul for my studies).

Amnesty group is off to a great start. A black tie event has been scheduled for December 1st, its nice to see we will be able to hit 3+ birds with one stone: 1. Raise money for A.I 2. Raise money for our group 3. Hold politicans accountable on some note for their actions 4. oh and lets not forget my petty self, I can actually dress up girly (something, for those who know me, I NEVER do) , psst maybe I will ask D for a genuine flamenco dance ;-)

Life is , I believe, falling into my court for a change. The realist knows this obviously won't last long, so I am going to enjoy it while I can.

The obsession *alas* has been put on the backburner, Mmmm to simmer to perfection. Although I did purchase his reading of Thomas Hardy's 'The Return of the Native', it is quite engaging. Hardy is a very visual writer and accompanied with the voice of 'god', it has been a wonderful experience indeed.Okay I am just going to melt in the corner over there.

J and I went for coffee on the weekend. It was good to see him again, and bitch him out for being one of the lucky ones to obtain AC/DC tickets, I am sure he believes it was divine intervention, I just think he is one lucky bastard. Oh J. even though I know you are married, something tells me, I am your penis and you are my vagina--> It makes sense people , I am not religious--> aka he is my rock!

Ruby, school (if that is what you desire) will be in your future again.. we should consult the cards.. AHHH anything but that damn rider deck, it hates me I swear. I miss doing readings. *SIGH* and now I must deal with D's scary flamenco shirts alone, tell me how this is a bad thing again? and the D , I must tally his repetitiveness, and that he does well, all alone.

I shall leave with a great quote by Voltaire:

"I may not agree with what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it"

Staring at the sun and trying not to squint....

Free-IQTest.net - IQ Test

who would have thunk it, eh?!

Ahead of the Game

Another letter will be up and running soon, if this was a race... "I am going to win". I suppose I must be the one that has eccentric doings in ones life.. there is one in every group.

Well as I head into the second week of the semester, I already have a warm fuzzy feeling, I feel like stella, for I definitely (in the school sense) got my groove back. I wish the school book store worked in the same way ( my English book still isn't in GRRRR!!)
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(A little bit of draft...)

He never believed in love at first sight and yet, every time she walked in the room, he could not help but feel a sense of overbearing delight. These feelings confused him, he had always taken pride in the fact he could control himself in any situation. It almost angered him that SHE of all people/things would be the exception. He barely knew her. He knew that she had taken over some of the sixth and seventh year classes in Divination. Such a waste, for there was no such thing. Something for romantics and those who wished to be controlled.

Dumbledore had hired her on to assist Sybil (but Sybil needed more help than she could get) with the more advanced Divination classes, but Snape knew that she was also there to keep an eye on Lupin.

Damn Wolf!

Why did she have to be friends with him? Everyone he had ever been remotely interested in always had ties to a bloody Gryffindor. He... wait... he ... interested? No, he did not even know anything about her. Her name ... Lana Greenwood and she is ... oh god, here she comes, look away.

“Severus Snape, potions professor, right?”
“Wow, your power of perception amazes me”
“Good to know, we are a morning person. Well your cheerfulness amazes me, I hate to disturb your ray of sunshine, but I am wondering if I could borrow some black bamboo roots?”
“Bamboo? I am usually not one to just give out my ingredients. What would you be using it for?”
“Well I am glad you understand the concept of someone’s own business. If I knew that I would be questioned on it, forget it. I will just get some the next time I am going to Hogsmeade. Good day to you, Professor.”

Well that went well... I wonder what she would need Bamboo for... healing property... she seemed, well touchy to say the least. She also was squinting... headaches perhaps. This would require some more inquiring.

“Ahhh Severus, I am glad I found you. May you humour an old man?”

“Well Headmaster, seeing as I am known for my vast amounts of humour, I shall do my best.”

“Excellent, well I noticed that you were conversing with Lana and I am worried about her. I know that she seems to take great care to control her thoughts and feelings and yet, this has not be the case as of late, and seeing as Remis is disposed during this week, I thought that Lana would need a friend of sorts. Someone she can converse with, it is a good idea to have more than one friend”

Dumbledore always had a way of pushing people’s buttons, without patronizing them, too much. Severus still was contemplating the double meaning that was possibly meant. Thus, the potions master raised his eyebrow and turned away in a bellow of black and fabric out of the room towards the dungeons, a place of solitude.

Why did that man have to question everything? Now that she had been teaching at Hogwarts for almost two months now, one would think they (being colleagues) could at least have civil conversations, ones that did not end with one of them leaving the room in a huff. She was aware that Remus and he went to school together and she was hoping that she could become mutual friends with Snape, but Remis had explained that their friendship was somewhat more of a difficult one. Lana assumed this meant that Severus was the one whom made Lupin’s Wolfsbane Potion.

Therefore, she had been hoping that she could borrow some bamboo roots in order to make a talisman for Remis, to help with his lycanthropy. She also found that bamboo roots assist with headaches and she had been suffering of late with them, but she was not about to any weaknesses to Snape, at least not after the dream she had had last night.

This was the first time since teaching at Hogwarts that she did not had Remis to talk to, it was a little difficult to not have someone else to converse with, but how much trouble can one get into in a week.

No one suspects ... the Spanish Iquisition

"It is always by way of pain one arrives at pleasure."

-Marquis De Sade

Well yesterday evening it was back to that which is familiar. There is no such thing as instant gratification when one attends post-secondary. But I think this semester I will be plesantly happy with the outcome of classes and professors.

Last night, I had to succumb to an English class finally, and who happens it be... well a Madam Hooch look-alike. (Isn't that weird--> insert fake danish accent here) But I like her already. Her learning ideas for a first level class is not so much worrying about grammar and the mechanics of the writing (which are needed), but one must find their voice and learn how to control ideas and in doing so the rest will come later... it echoes that of the art history class I took last semester... ha ha ha Steven, no Nazi prof pour moi.

Tomorrow is a long stretch. I have Doug, Dave and Moria's classes and seeing as they have tooted their horns for me before, I know there will be no surprises. Cheers to that.

I leave this brief glimpse into reality with the video by Tom Petty, I cannot embed it on here but I seriously recommend you check it out.... Oh reality is ... ohhhh time for tea.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b5H0wUo37RY&feature=related

Crispin Glover

Okay I mentioned before about Batman, and there needing a role for Mad Hatter... yeah well i have come across some theories on who the next Riddle should be... Jim Carry was spot on... but again so was Jack Nicholson as the Joker, gots to pave the way for the new...Ledger= fucking brilliant.

Anywho, back to the Riddler, can anyone say CRISPIN GLOVER. This guy is a fucking cult genius. I tip my top hat to you. Riddler he must be.. and thus gets my vote.

Mommy, look what I can do!!

The state of boredom has officially kicked in and,

thus this has risen from the ashes to take its place.

I shall eventually learn how to make some snazzy desktops.

However, this is what I must settle with (which isn't necessarly a terrible thing).

It is kind of relaxing thing at the moment.

A rainy tuesday evening, sipping on some earl grey,

listening to: Within Temptation

hmmm gives me an idea for another video, Damn you Alan!! ;-) or if anything this song fits perfectly with my story, "Inside the Fire" ---> damn you , Snape!

...staring at various grey scale pictures.

All around peaceful day, I think.

Care to join me?

Pssst over here...

I regret that I have not posted sooner, but alas life has caught up to me in the usual ways.
This is the last week of summer semester and I have been studying diligently for the "doomed" exams that will be given by my "doomed" profs on certain "doomed" days.
So if it seems like I am ignoring the world (or at least the world I create) , it is probably because I am, due to the fact of : I have locked myself in a room with vast amounts of notes and texts and .. TEA, one cannot due anything without vast amounts of Earl Grey.
*sips tea* ahhh a soothing cup of perfect insanity.

Murphy's Law

I am not complaining, it is just almost on the verge of unfathomable to think that weird shit like stuff occurs.

School this semester has been wonderful but a WTF seems to be in store. The last two semesters I basically drove myself into insanity to spend countless hours over essays of varying ydegrees, and this well I wouldn't say I did them last minute, but definitely did not stress over them and I would say I am hitting a 3.0-3.5 this semester. (here it comes...) WTF??? I would like to think that the more hours one spends on anything the better they would do... me thinks this will come up later when I do a Psych project?!

I am still grateful and (school wise) somewhat as piece, it would seem I have finally found my stride and my purpose, it is a very gratifying feeling.

All I can end this with is, ..... I WOULD BE A WIZARD!!

Mmmmm so...I lied (its called Occlumency)

I realized I said that I would have the first bit of my story done, yes well my original character is turning into a bitch, and that is something I am not looking to do. But no worries, she will still be strong enough to handle Severus. (God, I am such an obsessed nerd, I am so glad no one cares to read my junk, well... except Ruby, but she knows my faults and is willing to laugh at them the whole way)

But I do have the idea(s) to where the story is going:

A young woman is mysteriously appperated into Hogwarts. She is unconscious and severely beaten. After being healed by Pomfrey, and questioned by Dumbledore, it is thought best that she become a teachers aid for the professors. As she assists everyone along, Snape discovers that Miss Firefox has a bit more powers then she was willing to lead on. Will Dumbledore convince her to do what is right? Will Severus understand in the end?

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Other then the obsession what else have I been transcending in? Actually not much really, school, that which was born from the ashes, and writing take up my time. Maybe I will eventually find the time to incorporate a member of the opposite in there ( I make it sound so formal *BAH*) Do you think he will mind sharing with Alan Rickman??? ;-)

I have a thing for the Potions Master....

Okay I have reached rubicon and I felt like this was another weekend for an out of the body experience. You know the kind, the kind where everything seems surreal and numbing even if it is the mundane that only occurs. However on a good note, nothing made me angry, but again nothing made me happy either, I suppose this is what "purgatory" feels like... just is.

I am waiting for the exciting to happen, to sweep me off my feet and explode all around me. (Doesn't that sound like some bad sexual repressed pun *sigh* ) I know that patience is a virtue; however, I am young, so of course I don't have any.

So, here I lay listening to depressing songs of old. Songs that taunt me in things I have already lost and that which I will never have....
Okay, enough longing... now onto some good old ranting.

Who asked for this life, I mean honestly whoever did is seriously fucked in the head.
Everyday people fight in the name of SOMETHING/SOMEONE/A DEITY and for what??? So that you can feel justified that you stood up for a cause, a cause worth killing/hurting/changing people's lives over??!!
I thought we are a civilized people?! I call for a vote to abolish organized religion. Don't get me wrong, I believe that everyone should have the right to worship/believe in whatever deity they so choose. Just get rid of mass groups of people gathering in one area and stating what others should or shouldn't believe.
For me religion is like a car, lately its been poisoning the world with its fumes but in the end all it really is needed for is to get you from point A to point B and depending on your family situation and lifestyle it depends on what one you are going to choose right. So if you believe that the Benz is the best or the Escalade or just a simple civic is your way to go, we are all trying to travel on this crowded super highway to wherever our dream nirvana is, lets not let road rage cause all these crashes people... FUCK, take public transit!!!

Music: My December- Linkin Park

Mood: Numb