Killing the baby Jesus since 4 c.e

Happy yearly holidays to those who celebrate Kwanzaa, Chanukah, Christmas etc and may those material goods you so dearly covet, be blessed upon you this year. For those who use this time for religious purposes, yes people ARE fucking dying over your religion, well there is a perfect quote for this I suppose , "stupid is as stupid does". If you are an atheist, thanks for being so fucking egotistical and nothing happens to you when you die. ( I should change my career to a toast master huh?)

I am making it a quick one and am going to 'have visions of sugar plums dance in my...' oh no, I do not think so, maybe I will look to A.R or C.F to save me tonight hee hee (and so this end like a braying donkey hee hee ... hawwh)

All ranting aside... I am looking forward in hopes that tomorrow sends its joys out to everyone. I know this is only a fantasy and will not be true in my lifetime, but I will still dream none the less.



hmmm what song shall I leave you with.... ooohh I know:

We are the Highlanderz, Mighty and Strong!!

This is where I am in the spectre of things

Here is where our journey begins, come with me as we look to the wind as it weaves an epic tale of politics and such...

In the introduction, we explained the inadequacies of the traditional left-right line.

If we recognise that this is essentially an economic line it's fine, as far as it goes. We can show, for example, Stalin, Mao Tse Tung and Pol Pot, with their commitment to a totally controlled economy, on the hard left. Socialists like Mahatma Gandhi and Robert Mugabe would occupy a less extreme leftist position. Margaret Thatcher would be well over to the right, but further right still would be someone like that ultimate free marketeer, General Pinochet.
That deals with economics, but the social dimension is also important in politics. That's the one that the mere left-right scale doesn't adequately address. So we've added one, ranging in positions from extreme authoritarian to extreme libertarian.

Both an economic dimension and a social dimension are important factors for a proper political analysis. By adding the social dimension you can show that Stalin was an authoritarian leftist (ie the state is more important than the individual) and that Gandhi, believing in the supreme value of each individual, is a liberal leftist. While the former involves state-imposed arbitrary collectivism in the extreme top left, on the extreme bottom left is voluntary collectivism at regional level, with no state involved. Hundreds of such anarchist communities existed in Spain during the civil war period
You can also put Pinochet, who was prepared to sanction mass killing for the sake of the free market, on the far right as well as in a hardcore authoritarian position. On the non-socialist side you can distinguish someone like Milton Friedman, who is anti-state for fiscal rather than social reasons, from Hitler, who wanted to make the state stronger, even if he wiped out half of humanity in the process.
The chart also makes clear that, despite popular perceptions, the opposite of fascism is not communism but anarchism (ie liberal socialism), and that the opposite of communism ( i.e. an entirely state-planned economy) is neo-liberalism (i.e. extreme deregulated economy)

The usual understanding of anarchism as a left wing ideology does not take into account the neo-liberal "anarchism" championed by the likes of Ayn Rand, Milton Friedman and America's Libertarian Party, which couples social Darwinian right-wing economics with liberal positions on most social issues. Often their libertarian impulses stop short of opposition to strong law and order positions, and are more economic in substance (ie no taxes) so they are not as extremely libertarian as they are extremely right wing. On the other hand, the classical libertarian collectivism of anarcho-syndicalism ( libertarian socialism) belongs in the bottom left hand corner.
In our home page we demolished the myth that authoritarianism is necessarily "right wing", with the examples of Robert Mugabe, Pol Pot and Stalin. Similarly Hitler, on an economic scale, was not an extreme right-winger

The Political Compass
Economic Left/Right: -5.75Social Libertarian/Authoritarian: -4.97

- Hmmmm Gandhi is my friend... why don't you ever call me up??
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I needed a little classical music for the ipod. Bow down to us geeks , even better, us Canadian geeks, who have an obsession with all things Scottish. (well maybe all things Craig 'Angus' Ferguson)

*note to self, get some 'Bing Hitler' on here... SHUT UPPPPP!!

Addictions-- To That Which We All Have...

This song reminds me of the past, and is my conscious to make sure I do not head down that road again. For those who stuck by me through my 'rock n' roll' days. I wonder, truly I wonder what would have happened if ‘Mary Jane’ had won that lifestyle, I honestly think I would not be here today, but she will always be a part of who I am , and who I will continue to become.

I did it all in such a short time. I have been homeless, I was a drug addict, an alcoholic, I have been abused (on multiple levels), and yet... life is still not what I would have wanted it to be, but I think I can at least cope enough to see some sort of future, whichever that may be.

So, let us all take a moment to acknowledge those addictions we may have, those we continually fight to overcome, and those we will beat.

Ode to the Sexy Badgers

I am embracing my inner nerd today. No, not the trendy slacker video/computer game kind, but actually studying something and then putting it to use it what hopefully will be the near future. Graduate school is (or more recently has been) calling my name, and what do I want my sacrificial lamb to entail? I am looking to write about the social and political significance of clans in the Scottish Highlands (me thinks during the 13th-14th century, but I have not settled on a period yet). Obviously, this has not been finalized yet, but seeing as I am majoring in kinship-based societies, and being a sucker for the men of the kilts (no they are not dresses, you judgemental pricks), this only stands to reason on the way to go. I shall keep .. Well myself ...posted (because really, yes, you, if you are reading this, please you will find no joy or enlightenment here. Go!, go outside, go read a book, go tell someone whom you have not told in a while, you love them... just GO! )

Okay, so I can tell you are a stubborn lot and are not leaving, fine, just say I did not warn you...

Okay we all are intrigued by the sheer awesomeness (or stupidity) of the human sub-conscious at one time or another, but last night during a dream, I awoke to wonder, as any with a sense of profound speech would say: ‘What the fuck was that?’

It probably due to the fact I had been watching some Craig Ferguson stuff*, and so upon falling asleep I guess my mind was still watching it. So, come with me and enter my dream world of what the fuck? It starts, I am running, running in forest of Japanese cherry trees, and like someone out of the hells of Narnia, I step into a tree and am in the Scottish Highlands (or at least what I think it was because I have never been there). Craig is standing on a hill, punk kilt style, not playing the pipes but the electric fiddle. What the fuck, is this Ashley MacIssac ( which is weirder because now that I think about it, there was no amp around). After he plays, I ask him the name of the tune, and he told me it was Ode to the sexy Badgers (again, what the fuck?) He then says the answer is in the trees. I head back to the forest. Do not ask me how, because it felt like star trek beam me up type shit. Anyway, I am walking again through a veil of pinkness, and come across an all white, faintish golden hue tree. Even in my dreams, no, shit this must be the tree. I touch it and it opened up to have a book inside. Opening the book seems like a logical thing to do, and upon opening it, I wake up. Yep, denied my answer. Hmmm I get the Scottish thing... maybe I should take a break from watching ‘The Big Tease’ and such. Nevertheless, hmmm I want my tree answers damn it. I will not be denied , Craig of the sub-conscious!

Anyway I am looking to the land of Nod and oh indeed, there is more of the nerdiness to come, so much so, I bathe in it. I am all wrinkly now, I think it is time to get out.

*he makes me grin like an idiot and giggle like a school girl, yeah dead sexy I know!

"What did we learn on the show tonight, Craig?"

Hmmm well for one thing, I learned that the Canadian government is on the back of a giant turtle. Oh yeah, I know, who would have thunk it? To think that the jokes... I mean, leaders of this country need to definitely take swimming lessons, because no one swims in Canada, is down right preposterous. The turtle could dive at any moment and we have nothing but an old pair of skates from the 1970's and a bad cup of coffee... damn you Stephan Harper... damn you!

I think of the three comedians I would like to obtain salmonella over a cheap dinner with, I have come to this conclusion:
-Lewis Black, I feel after reading your book, 'Me of Little Faith', religious ranting can be sexy but I feel I would have to wear a diaper around you, and not just over the salmonella either.
-Colin Mochrie, the internal voice in my head. Rubbing your beautiful shiny head would bring me much joy or at least some good luck.
- Craig Ferguson, I have always been a sucker for an accent. You can come to my house and act inappropriate anytime.

I am reading (always reading, try it sometime you ignorant sods.) John Ralston Saul's: 'A Fair Country'. Quite a read, really, and not because he is married to Adrienne Clarkson, even though that could be a compelling argument there. He truly puts Canada in her place.

I am also now looking to count on anyone BUT myself. Is there anyone sane left out there? I am even looking to sent out a call via space communication. Men are idiots, women are idiots ( see, I believe in equality). I think the movie 'Must Love Dogs' puts it all in perspective. But online ads , are you fucking kidding me?, they suck. Lets learn to mingle as people first, like the good old days, and fuck I am only 24 and feel like I grew up during the depression. Now society's collective stupidity IS leading me to depression. No, people, just because I talk to some people online does not mean I want to fuck you, and even when I say I DON'T WANT TO FUCK YOU, they still don't take the hint. Do I have to come through your screen and stab you multiple times for you to get the hint.

Well okay in reality we didn't learn anything new today, just reiterated what I always felt, and those who know put up with on a daily basis (thank you, you sick fucks).

Rules of EnRagement

Life did indeed rock this semester and here is how the coup when down:

-94% (A) in Eng ( I know, WTF? That is what I said)

-82% (B+) in Phil

-94% (A) in Anth ( I think just having the assistant job was cool enough, fuck yah)

-84% (B+) in PoSc... and no I did not do any 'extra credit' things sickos, although if offered Hmmmm.... Ole!

me thinks I lucked out on awesome prof's or due to rapid evolution, I am growing smarter faster. Either way I like it, it keeps me occupied so I don't have to think about being so far in debt... remind me to cut my writs with my diploma when I graduate... see students loans are depressing shit.

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- Catching up on some reading and came across some Lewis Black 'Me of Little Faith', even in words the guy screams angry mannerisms, fucking brilliant. Yes, pick it up people, learn to read again, lose yourself in the inbred married cousins that which are humour and religion. "God", I love it. Holiday wishlist peoples: Nothing Sacred, gracias!

cheers to when I actually have some free time to converse with myself and this idiot box.

Remember, remember... the '29th' of November

Dearest "E.V"

You come into this world today; I know, like my 'Phoenix from the ashes', you will change the world for the better.Oh, the unstoppable duo you both shall be... p,s its feels liberating being an auntie.
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As the liberation movements go, I have completed yet another semester (pre-finals), and it doth feels mucho good. I must say as busy as I have been it is always nice to think about all I have accomplished.
-Made dean's list (shazam!)
-Have the dream job, truly... research assistant (I know, sick I am)
- Almost have my school group up and running (SASS)
-Amnesty is also doing well.
-Still a single mommy and yet still rocking it.
- Paid a few things forward (hopefully the continued it)
- and something of a more personal nature.. a man of brains and really wonderfully bright 'flamenco' shirts (when the occasion calls for it... p.s D: you ought to remember I know I at least can find your ass with two hands hee hee )

Let us raise our glasses to the future in hopes those of us who have the ambition and the drive, can and will make the world a more open and diverse place, all the while kicking gloablization in its fucking ignorant 'mo money, mo money, mo money' ass.
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Playing with Haiku's:

all I say is this:
Looking through your eyes I think,
Am I that ugly?

I look to the stars,
Everything is so quiet,
I enjoy the peace.

Who is my hero?
Subcomandante Marcos!
Truly, a leader!

Graham crackers and Five-Alive: The nourishment of kings

*alas* poor Yorick! I knew him, Horatio...

I have been procrastinating about my Poli-Sc and Anthro papers and thus cramming to get them done for tomorrow. Hmmm how shall all this fair, I wonder?

D and D would be proud... yes, proud old men. Keep me on the yellow brick (academic) road guys...Hmmm I need just one more to complete the Oz trio of fiction... Dave: your memory is none existant, thus we know you would be my scarecrow. Doug: you never shut up on personal stories hmmm me thinks for some reason you and the lion are an anthropological pair. Now, I just need a tin man... hmmm who doth have no heart... ohhh for fictional purposes, the depressed byronnic hero that John Cusack always plays... yes, that will do nicely.... indeed.

So, although this is short (forgive me so) I must be off to procrastinate in front of this idiot box some more.

Adieu

Fortune Cookie Lucky Numbers

Okay a poem... a poem of luck and chance, I took the first lines of the first 20 songs on my music player (shuffled): without further adieu:

We had fire in our eyes, in the beginning...
I’m gone, you can’t get a hold of me; So long...
The child without a name, grew up to be the hand, to watch you, to shield you, or kill on demand.
You say you found yourself a new sound, this shit’s loaded and I’m ready to go...
When the feeling is ended, there aint no use pretending, don’t you worry...
Insulate boy, this knave of fashion, basking in your glory...
Why don’t you dance, everyone else is...
Wollt ihr das Bett in Flammen sehen
And so once again, my dear Johnny, my dear friend...
I left my home and my family by the ocean, out on my own to seek my fortune...
There are colours on the street; red , white and blue...
We had a life, we had a love, but you don’t know what you got till you lose it...
Would you mind if I hurt you, understand that I need to...
This world will never be, what I expected, and if I don’t belong who would have guessed it...
Come inside and be afraid, of this aggressive mess, I’ve made, here to take a look and you will find...
You held my hand and walked me home, I know...
Awwhhh the night that Paddy Murphy died is a night I’ll never forget...
I’m not the one who’s so far away, when I feel the snake bite enter my veins...
We used to swim the same moonlight waters, oceans away from the wakeful day...
I try to breath, memories overtaking me, I try to face them, but the thought is too much to conceive...

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They talk about going green and recycling and what better way than to take the tunes and make them into something new... ode to recycled art.

If only I could recycle hipsters and make them into something new.... god damn the culture of nothing new.

Globalization and the "Cultural Supermarket"

Hey 'Old Man',

There is nothing here, tradition... praxis is gone, gone to be replaced by a walmart and a starbucks. What do I feel like being today?... In the now, its a surprise that I FEEL anything. Damn you apathy, damn you ignorance, damn you culture of commercialism. We have lost the ability to be human.

I see you running to your religions, your 'ways of life' to seek that which was/is lost, but the fact is, you are not LIVING it, you are just talking about it. Talk is cheap. Rationality and sacrifice: The Art of Doing.

If there is one thing that does not invoke a sense of fear nor irrational danger is the ability to know what you need, not what you want.Take the plunge and consume less.

'I love you' is so cliche, hmmmm... so, will you be my John Cusack?

I shall forever be damned to haunt these hills as the hermit of eternity. I am pained by this darkness, and the echos of silence. These lyrics, fuck this song... speaks volumes about my distorted reality, my myth.

I exist for no one. No one to sleep in on Sunday afternoons with, nothing but the sound of the rain overhead. No one to tell me stories in the fire, sipping wine and lost in the leather bounds of grand adventures. Star gazing, mapping out dreams of future promises.

This Byronic hero does not exist, just as I do not. I merely breathe, but I do not exist. I hear him, somewhere, I hear him, feel him, there is a familiar taste, among strangers ... alas he too runs to hide from me as well.

If eyes are the windows to ones soul, please enlighten me and tell me what you see, what do you see in one who does not have a soul?

Ancora Imparo

I am listening, truly listening, to the silence;
What does it say with its vibrant colours and baritone voice?
It beckons me to its silky depths of oblivion.
Do I have the strength to hang on this time?
The winds of the past are strong, always threatening to lead me astray.
Come with me, through the ancient corridors of my mind, I am scared of its shadows.
I juxtapose your innocence, your light.
Help me stay afloat...
I shall always be an outsider:
Listen, truly listen

DisturbedBlueDragon 2008
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This collective consciousness is sickening, I shall break away. I realize ones family/friends is supposed to be the epitome of importance and love, this has never nor will ever be the case... why you ask: I despise irrational thoughts and actions. Growing up/living in a world where those who you accept into your bubble act only in what is best for them is very tiring things indeed.

No one pays attention nor listens, they just wait for their turn to speak. I listen, I give advice, I take everyones shit, this is my (please forgive the pun) 'cross' to bare. It seems to be my destiny to allow the masses to be reckless with my heart and time, to use as they see fit. Yes, I get it, you all feel so shitty about your life and your decisions, that now you must 'pay it forward' upon those who care. Thank you.

The ony saving grace is that of that which rises from the ashes my 'Phoenix'. Please grow up knowing that life truly is what you make it and the world needs someone who is thankful and puts forth the ideals that are not corrupted nor for personal acceptance and pleasure.

Lets go save this forsaken world because I despise apathy and ignorance.

Today's public rant has been brought to you by a great philosophy:

The fundamental difference between nice people and good people is this - nice people dream, and talk about changing the world, but they lack the courage to make the sacrifices required to do it - good people are willing to make the sacrifices, and do change the world.
R. Dart (Poli-Sc prof)

Thoust be nothing more than decaying organic matter

Hi, I am Jack's secret stalker who wishes for a good fuck...

How does it feel to be the middle child of civilization? Contributing nothing but taught to want everything. To think, all shall become millionaires (billionaires), happily married with/without 2.3 children (whichever your preference), and all the things required to live on "Wisteria Lane", and yet not working or at least doing the least amount of work for it.

Just think of those poor unfortunate souls who assume they ARE their possessions, they ARE their condo living, ikea furniture, 2-3 cars, buying up the planet Starbucks. How does it feel? I bet you are happy aren't you? Yes, think you are special, think you are unique, think you 'deserve to be' happy... why?

Have you ever just lived for the sake of living? Let go of the conventional ways and let the chips fall. What are you? Whom will you become? If you were to die now, would you be happy with your life? what do you wish you had done?

Learn to fuck.. do not fuck because you have to, do not fuck because you want to. There is nothing in that, thus nothing to you.. you are nothing. Fuck because it is an art, fuck to make this art real, fuck to hear the music, fuck to make music. Fucking is as primitive as it comes, go back to the biological roots and sore beyond, fuck to the beginning, and live in that time... and then ask questions

You ask why do I do all of this: why do you put yourself in debt for school? Because I like pain... no I love pain, I bathe in its glory. I love the social sciences and there is only so much you can learn in the real world and only so much you can learn academically, and I wish to learn from both ends of the stick.... and from this enlighten the world.

"I say Way-hay-hay its just an 'Ordinary day' "

I would like to take this opportunity to thank someone who made my day: "AindaMais". It is wonderful that you are making your dreams come true and your e-mail was a refreshing one. I wish everyone who watched/will watch Proust and A.R video and stop to think about why they are not living life to its fullest.

I too have been reaching for the dreams. Currently school is more than enough work in of it self but I suppose I am a sucker for punishment and I accepted a job working for a local anthropologist. The glamourous job consists of carding/organizing artifacts, and research for his book... now I have no time for life's necessatities but it is worth it. All this is justthe tip but I believe in some anonymity when writing on these idiot boxes--> thank you for understanding.

let us all lay in the warmth of Great Big Sea

Oh Canada, the country going down the shit hole....

Thank you for proving me a clarvoyant... another minority government bah humbug! I hope we rise out of this diaster capitalism toward Pluto's utopian society--> I am rooting for Atlantis there of course not of the sinking variety.
Do not get me started on the 'worse voter turn out in Canadian history'. Apathy, should not be vogue. If you care not about those around and what happens in the future be than it is true and humanity is lost, a cancer to be wiped out.

Please note: Deconstructivism in progress.

Life has been (for lack of a better term, or in this case running of oversimplification) very busy. Classes have been engaging and complex, I actually may make the dean's list (90% average) which for all you kiddies out there: High school is a joke ( at its current standing), I did terrible in my lesser years and lone and behold, my marks are much better (maybe this is because I am paying the equivilant of my soul for my studies).

Amnesty group is off to a great start. A black tie event has been scheduled for December 1st, its nice to see we will be able to hit 3+ birds with one stone: 1. Raise money for A.I 2. Raise money for our group 3. Hold politicans accountable on some note for their actions 4. oh and lets not forget my petty self, I can actually dress up girly (something, for those who know me, I NEVER do) , psst maybe I will ask D for a genuine flamenco dance ;-)

Life is , I believe, falling into my court for a change. The realist knows this obviously won't last long, so I am going to enjoy it while I can.

The obsession *alas* has been put on the backburner, Mmmm to simmer to perfection. Although I did purchase his reading of Thomas Hardy's 'The Return of the Native', it is quite engaging. Hardy is a very visual writer and accompanied with the voice of 'god', it has been a wonderful experience indeed.Okay I am just going to melt in the corner over there.

J and I went for coffee on the weekend. It was good to see him again, and bitch him out for being one of the lucky ones to obtain AC/DC tickets, I am sure he believes it was divine intervention, I just think he is one lucky bastard. Oh J. even though I know you are married, something tells me, I am your penis and you are my vagina--> It makes sense people , I am not religious--> aka he is my rock!

Ruby, school (if that is what you desire) will be in your future again.. we should consult the cards.. AHHH anything but that damn rider deck, it hates me I swear. I miss doing readings. *SIGH* and now I must deal with D's scary flamenco shirts alone, tell me how this is a bad thing again? and the D , I must tally his repetitiveness, and that he does well, all alone.

I shall leave with a great quote by Voltaire:

"I may not agree with what you say, but I will defend to the death your right to say it"

Dear Mr. Rickman: (The Stalker Song)

The fine wine that is Alan Rickman. Is it his acting capabilities ? Is it the oozing sexual voice? The piercing eyes? With a hint of Gentlemanly godliness? Or all the above? Either way, the impression this man gives off is divine.

To round off this distinguished MAN , a song of the future with a man from the past... But echoes truth... well for me anyway.

Namaste.

"On and On, I play this game..."

I hope Tarl doesn't mind if I put this up here... I bow down to the awesomeness of his words. and lucky me, he has a video on the tube... (but Psstt, the song is better on the album--> insert plug, everyone needs to buy it, here<---

Language gits sum culture yo!

Brilliant.... and I shall truly enunciate FUCKING brilliant!!

Standing My Ground

WHO shall take the path of apathy?
It is always easier to shuffle along that one.
Do you remember why we are here?

WHAT belongs in this old heart?
Here among the damned and forgetful,
The rains have come, the warmth of remembrance.

WHERE shall I bury these bones when I die?
I hear the ancient drums of beckoning.
There is no more laughter from the children of the earth.

WHEN will Gaea avenge from all that has been taken?
I wrap myself in the mist and the pain.
This 'God of War' is justified in eternal bloodshed.

WHY have my tears become the stones of yesterday?
I have sacrificed my dreams for the numbing of time.
Come Puck, let us retire to the summers of youth and make love among the wine.


DisturbedBlueDragon 2008

Staring at the sun and trying not to squint....

Free-IQTest.net - IQ Test

who would have thunk it, eh?!

Je ne sais quoi...........

I decided to gaze upon a cineamatic adventure- 'Perfume'. Hmmmm , well it was worth it but again the obvious prevails and I am sure the book would have been better. Oh well great acting and Joaquin I think is out of a job, standing 'O' for the crying capabilities of Mr. R.
Speaking of, I want this.....................

http://www.leparfum.thierrymugler.com/us/

*rolls eyes*, ONLY $700... if I so had money to burn.

We are all nerds, but this is better than the 'WoW'

Oh yeah I said it, that is right... my video's hold the key to awesomeness. Bring praise from the great voice.... oh great 'HIM' ... me wonders if I should start a c... no.. a religion of Rickman-iacs... Hmmmmm doesn't anyone remember that site of 'why Alan Rickman is better than 'god'??!! Fucking brilliant.

Let us all tip our hats to the man with the acting greatness.

Better than the grocery list.. but I could settle...

One never tires of the voice of perfection... or 'god' (all hail the metatron ... bring on the flame retardent chemicals ;-) ) which ever you prefer.... and heck i just like playing movie maker.

Something happened on the way to... sanity

well one month count down to the travelling circus they call politics in this country. Of course ours is not the Oscar wining Broadway music that is America, but still full of "Gypsies, Tramps and Thieves". So let us look at today's line up.... (Where's Don Cherry when you need him)

http://www.nodice.ca/elections/canada/parties.php

This give you the starting line and the bench warmers... check it out.

Don't just sit on the sidelines this year .... voting is not that hard... Come on everyone lets not elect another "W" in Parliament.

She was a day tripper, a one way ticket, yeah

Your result for The Perception Personality Image Test...

NBPC - The Daydreamer

You perceive the world with particular attention to nature. You focus on the hidden treasures of life (the background) and how that fits into the larger picture. You are also particularly drawn towards the colors around you. Because of the value you place on nature, you tend to find comfort in more subdued settings and find energy in solitude. You like to ponder ideas and imagine the many possibilities of your life without worrying about the details or specifics. You are in tune with all that is around you and understand your life as part of a larger whole. You are a down-to-earth person who enjoys going with the flow.

Take The Perception Personality Image Test at HelloQuizzy

My Mantra

"I am the Dragon. And you call me insane. You are privy to a great becoming, but you recognize nothing. To me, you are a slug in the sun. You are an ant in the afterbirth. It is your nature to do one thing correctly. Before me, you rightly tremble. But, fear is not what you owe me. You owe me awe. "

Ahead of the Game

Another letter will be up and running soon, if this was a race... "I am going to win". I suppose I must be the one that has eccentric doings in ones life.. there is one in every group.

Well as I head into the second week of the semester, I already have a warm fuzzy feeling, I feel like stella, for I definitely (in the school sense) got my groove back. I wish the school book store worked in the same way ( my English book still isn't in GRRRR!!)
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(A little bit of draft...)

He never believed in love at first sight and yet, every time she walked in the room, he could not help but feel a sense of overbearing delight. These feelings confused him, he had always taken pride in the fact he could control himself in any situation. It almost angered him that SHE of all people/things would be the exception. He barely knew her. He knew that she had taken over some of the sixth and seventh year classes in Divination. Such a waste, for there was no such thing. Something for romantics and those who wished to be controlled.

Dumbledore had hired her on to assist Sybil (but Sybil needed more help than she could get) with the more advanced Divination classes, but Snape knew that she was also there to keep an eye on Lupin.

Damn Wolf!

Why did she have to be friends with him? Everyone he had ever been remotely interested in always had ties to a bloody Gryffindor. He... wait... he ... interested? No, he did not even know anything about her. Her name ... Lana Greenwood and she is ... oh god, here she comes, look away.

“Severus Snape, potions professor, right?”
“Wow, your power of perception amazes me”
“Good to know, we are a morning person. Well your cheerfulness amazes me, I hate to disturb your ray of sunshine, but I am wondering if I could borrow some black bamboo roots?”
“Bamboo? I am usually not one to just give out my ingredients. What would you be using it for?”
“Well I am glad you understand the concept of someone’s own business. If I knew that I would be questioned on it, forget it. I will just get some the next time I am going to Hogsmeade. Good day to you, Professor.”

Well that went well... I wonder what she would need Bamboo for... healing property... she seemed, well touchy to say the least. She also was squinting... headaches perhaps. This would require some more inquiring.

“Ahhh Severus, I am glad I found you. May you humour an old man?”

“Well Headmaster, seeing as I am known for my vast amounts of humour, I shall do my best.”

“Excellent, well I noticed that you were conversing with Lana and I am worried about her. I know that she seems to take great care to control her thoughts and feelings and yet, this has not be the case as of late, and seeing as Remis is disposed during this week, I thought that Lana would need a friend of sorts. Someone she can converse with, it is a good idea to have more than one friend”

Dumbledore always had a way of pushing people’s buttons, without patronizing them, too much. Severus still was contemplating the double meaning that was possibly meant. Thus, the potions master raised his eyebrow and turned away in a bellow of black and fabric out of the room towards the dungeons, a place of solitude.

Why did that man have to question everything? Now that she had been teaching at Hogwarts for almost two months now, one would think they (being colleagues) could at least have civil conversations, ones that did not end with one of them leaving the room in a huff. She was aware that Remus and he went to school together and she was hoping that she could become mutual friends with Snape, but Remis had explained that their friendship was somewhat more of a difficult one. Lana assumed this meant that Severus was the one whom made Lupin’s Wolfsbane Potion.

Therefore, she had been hoping that she could borrow some bamboo roots in order to make a talisman for Remis, to help with his lycanthropy. She also found that bamboo roots assist with headaches and she had been suffering of late with them, but she was not about to any weaknesses to Snape, at least not after the dream she had had last night.

This was the first time since teaching at Hogwarts that she did not had Remis to talk to, it was a little difficult to not have someone else to converse with, but how much trouble can one get into in a week.

Nobody's Home

Why would there be anything left? Its all I know anyway.... *sigh*

Just another day for you and me in paradise

I am totally in a Phil Collins kick, and what better way then listen to his tunes that I truely believe are the messages/questions I have today.



I know this isn't the orginal, but we all know its great to see phil chillin' with his hommies...

If only I could turn back time...

Everyone feels this way sometimes....

No one suspects ... the Spanish Iquisition

"It is always by way of pain one arrives at pleasure."

-Marquis De Sade

Well yesterday evening it was back to that which is familiar. There is no such thing as instant gratification when one attends post-secondary. But I think this semester I will be plesantly happy with the outcome of classes and professors.

Last night, I had to succumb to an English class finally, and who happens it be... well a Madam Hooch look-alike. (Isn't that weird--> insert fake danish accent here) But I like her already. Her learning ideas for a first level class is not so much worrying about grammar and the mechanics of the writing (which are needed), but one must find their voice and learn how to control ideas and in doing so the rest will come later... it echoes that of the art history class I took last semester... ha ha ha Steven, no Nazi prof pour moi.

Tomorrow is a long stretch. I have Doug, Dave and Moria's classes and seeing as they have tooted their horns for me before, I know there will be no surprises. Cheers to that.

I leave this brief glimpse into reality with the video by Tom Petty, I cannot embed it on here but I seriously recommend you check it out.... Oh reality is ... ohhhh time for tea.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=b5H0wUo37RY&feature=related

See what happens when you give me too much spare time...

It has been too long to escape the obsession, which is called 'Severus' , so here are a couple more fan music videos to past the time away.


This brings smiles all around... well *ahem* in a cheesy sort of way:

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This one has a bit more of a message. It falls to the idea that the OotP would give any excuse to have Severus banned into exile. The loneliness ones leads when they walk the line, 'The Man in Black'.

Presented in Aqua Scope

Just longing for a little bit of my childhood memories.... I am such a nerd.

"I'm just british.. and well.... you're not"

I would like to see how well this fares.. Hmmm like its wine and due to the actors in it: Bold, Brave and beyond...Anyone, wanna find a cinema and stomach an afternoon-ish with moi?

"Wine is sunlight held together by water"-Galileo

Mr.Potter... I mean Mr. Todd, our newest celebrity!!

and what better way to glance upon this collector addition of cardcollecting.. is well ,we all like the style of pretty women.. or maybe just Alan... oh and I "suppose" Johnny as well.. I guess ;-) singing about them.

Crispin Glover

Okay I mentioned before about Batman, and there needing a role for Mad Hatter... yeah well i have come across some theories on who the next Riddle should be... Jim Carry was spot on... but again so was Jack Nicholson as the Joker, gots to pave the way for the new...Ledger= fucking brilliant.

Anywho, back to the Riddler, can anyone say CRISPIN GLOVER. This guy is a fucking cult genius. I tip my top hat to you. Riddler he must be.. and thus gets my vote.

Inside the Fire Soundtrack

Well my fan fiction is coming along at a steady pace now. Fuck you all who say this is lame. If the creator had thought all this stuff through, I wouldn't need to add these delicious details (Thanks for getting the ball rolling)
Anywho, I think the one reason this all is fitting so nicely is due to great music, and I think to get a better grasp of where the characters are coming from (aka sharing their feelings) I am putting up some tunes, oh that fit them .. well better than potato sacks.. but if they were, oh can they work them girl.

First one is Remus to Lana :

This one is Lana/Severus baring their souls:

I hope you see where this is all going without giving away too much.

Mommy, look what I can do!!

The state of boredom has officially kicked in and,

thus this has risen from the ashes to take its place.

I shall eventually learn how to make some snazzy desktops.

However, this is what I must settle with (which isn't necessarly a terrible thing).

It is kind of relaxing thing at the moment.

A rainy tuesday evening, sipping on some earl grey,

listening to: Within Temptation

hmmm gives me an idea for another video, Damn you Alan!! ;-) or if anything this song fits perfectly with my story, "Inside the Fire" ---> damn you , Snape!

...staring at various grey scale pictures.

All around peaceful day, I think.

Care to join me?

The Song of the Phoenix

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I obtained enlightenment yesterday, but I think I want my money back. Sometimes there is bliss to be sought in ignorance. This world is such a confusing place, I am on the straight road to utter madness... and not of a joker variety. I mean totally gone batman!! Its almost puts (or has put me in tears) to see people lying, cheating, killing, etc all because they felt like it'. I feel this way and this is without being a believer of the angry jesus variety neither. Well I would like shoot everyone IN THE FACE who does not think/care about the choices they make and how it effects the greater whole. I realize that humans are imperfect, however on a daily basis, you are telling me that all the shit in this world that occurs is not because people are just too fucking lazy to take the road of a more moral path, and yes there are 14 shades of grey, but really people, fuck you see someone starving, FEED THEM, you see some crying, you see if they are alright... humbleness is a powerful thing, I think we should all drink a hefty glass of it!!. Okay, I feel like.... awwhh just listen to a good song, staring at an awesome actor.

Welcome to the Game:

For those who have never played Comic book Word Scrabble... you are truly missing out!!!
Please, come on an adventure avec moi in one of my favorite movies 'Snow Cake', where the great Alan and Sigourney will indulge you in the rules of the game.

Mmmm two great functioning constants in life: Alan Rickman and tea.

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This has been and will be, I am sure, a pleasant week. The house is free of stress and perpetual state of 'blahness', for the parental units have gone on a 'walk about' for a weekish and thus leaving me to play house... ohhhh boy. Which is a nice change of pace because it is the last week of freedom <---insert scottish accent here until I enter the salt mine for another semester on the good ship lollipop.

Did I not get the intra-office memo or am I the brunt of a Dane Cook joke, of being the friend no one likes?! Where did everyone go? Maybe being Greg House is in store.. or maybe I am the one with Aspergers--> It would explain the lack of peers and peer interaction... God, damn where is my cane, it is time.

I bid you all adieu, if you need me I will be in my dungeon, leave a message with my 'lightning rod of hate'.

My Waffle Iron of Justice

Oh yes, we all remember the humble beginnings of Mystery Men, but I bet you didn't
remember this:

Forever a proud supporter of the Su-Fi. Official Member of the Dane Train.

Avada Kedavra

The faintest growl escaped his lips, for a moment betraying his pressence.

No matter how fast or far I run, I will never escape that velvety utterance.

Please release me from my minds bondage,

I cannot fathom this eternity of sufferage.

One touch, one taste.... It's all I ask....

curse this occlumency!

I cannot take it.....

Avada Kedavra!!

-Disturbed Blue Dragon 2008

I escaped my final momentBut it’s turning back at meOn every corner I can feel it waitingJust a moment, no awarenessI could easily slip awayAnd then I’ll be gone foreverI’m searching,I’m fighting for a way to get throughTo turn it awayIt’s waiting, always tryingI feel the hands of fate, they’re suffocatingTell me what’s the reasonIs it all inside my headCan’t take it no more!All around me I see dangerAnd it’s closing in on meEvery second I can hear it, breathingI can’t stand the fear inside meCause it’s leading me astrayAnd it will be my endingI’m searchingI’m fighting for a way to get throughTo turn it awayIt’s waiting, always tryingI feel the hands of fate, they’re suffocatingTell me what’s the reasonIs it all inside my headCan’t take it no more!But no one faced what's coming my way. And I will let my fear fade awayWhatever may be, I'll have to find out.It’s waiting, always tryingI feel the hands of fate, they’re suffocatingTell me what’s the reasonIs it all inside my headCan’t take it no more!

The Phantom Nerd

I have cursed myself on the black rose of this impetuous infatuation.
Again, to be made a knave among fools.
Always I have been betrayed by the stars,
Forever playing my role as fate's master puppet.
I yearn to scream these tears of fury and flame.
Alas, I ponder within my soul's abode.
Forced to have this love unrequited,
Punished to the depths in eternity's passage of time.
-Disturbed Blue Dragon 2008

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I bow before you , a humble obsessed nerd of a imaginary beings. Does everything have to remind me of Severus? Is what I seek most , the dark hero? Of course what perfect way to describe the war that rages within me: The Phantom of the Opera. Please with a quill in hand and an open heart, you decide which is better (hmmmm Nightwish or Gerard Butler... tick tock, the clock is moving rapidly), either way, standing ovation for Webber! Okay, no more swooning like the innocent school girl that I am not.

OR

*sigh* I bid you all a nightly farwell. The dreams of this dragon tonight bode to be one of a sweet nature--> Severus, Gerard Butler and exquisite music of rage, passion and all the lovely creatures of the night.

The Islander

An old man by a seashoreAt the end of dayGazes the horizonWith seawinds in his faceTempest-tossed islandSeasons all the sameAnchorage unpaintedAnd a ship without a name Sea without a shore for the banished one unheardHe lightens the beacon, light at the end of worldShowing the way lighting hope in their heartsThe ones on their travels homeward from afar This is for long-forgottenLight at the end of the worldHorizon cryingThe tears he left behind long ago The albatross is flyingMaking him daydreamThe time before he becameOne of the world`s unseenPrincess in the towerChildren in the fieldsLife gave him it all:An island of the universe Now his love`s a memoryA ghost in the fogHe sets the sails one last timeSaying farewell to the worldAnchor to the waterSeabed far belowGrass still in his feetAnd a smile beneath his brow This is for long-forgottenLight at the end of the worldHorizon cryingThe tears he left behind so long ago-Nightwish-----------------------------------------------------------------

The Oneiric

I know that you cannot say the words, as you turn to walk away.

We shall fight the alarm clock screaming monsters for eternity.

Under the gleam of silver moonlight, the last tear is shed.

Like crimson blood, it's glow stains the night.

How can you be nothing more than my minds shadow?

Lost in these corridors of longing and pain,

I search to find you, encompassed in the cold mist of denial.

Oh, great, give us one night of reality.

So, that we may plunge into folly and passion that has been negated.

Darkness, fumes, 'a stopper in death',

I must settle for the surreal and only hear your whispers on the wind.

Calling you back, so you may warm my thoughts.

-Disturbed Blue Dragon 2008

The Plucker

I have had Brom's book, 'The Plucker' for almost 4 years now, and I never tire of it. If ever you are to read.. well more importantly stare at 'pretty' pictures, this would be it!!

http://www.bromart.com/

Brom-"Here's the synopsis: Jack and his Box are stuck beneath the bed with the dust, spiders, and other castaway toys. Forced to face a bitter truth--children grow up and toys are left behind--Jack believes this is the worst that can happen to a toy. But when the Plucker, a malevolent spirit, is set loose upon the world of make-believe and Jack is thrust into the unlikely role of defending Thomas, the very child that abandoned him, he finds out there is worse that can befall a toy - far worse. Jack, and a beleaguered last handful of toys, must struggle to rise above their simple roles as playthings in an effort to save the boy they love."

For those of us who feed upon the screams of the night, his art work is music to the soul. Forever we shall feast upon the blood and stuffing of innocent toys.

p.s I shall now be hunting for 'The Devil's Rose'

Who shall I say is calling?

His darkness calls out to me and yet his light is what shines through.

Is this what madness feels like?

Brought forth by that which we cannot have?

Screaming, urging, the blinding night takes hold.

I seek to find the comfort in his bellowing cape.

What would I give to be reflected in those eyes, to be the object of his mind.

All that echos is temptation.

I look for that hesitation, that shadow of a smile.

Begging, pleading I seek the release I have been denied.

Nothing more than an illusion of the spectrum.

The icy tears of regret and shame stain the ground.

I pray , I fall into the abyss and remember those eyes of passion and pain.

I will be cursed to never forget, my Snape.
-Disturbed Blue Dragon 2008

A song for Snape:


We used to swim the same moonlight waters

Oceans away from the wakeful day-

~My fall will be for you

My love will be in you

If you be the one to cut me

I`ll bleed forever~(x2)

Scent of the sea before the waking of the world

Brings me to thee

Into the blue memory-

~My fall will be for you

My love will be in you

If you be the one to cut me

I will bleed forever~(x2)

Into the blue memory

A siren from the deep came to me

Sang my name my longing

Still I write my songs about that dream of mine

Worth everything I may ever be

The Child will be born again

That siren carried him to me

First of them true loves

Singing on the shoulders of an angel

Without care for love n` loss

~Bring me home or leave me be

My love in the dark heart of the night

I have lost the path before me

The one behind will lead me~(x2)

Take me

Cure me

Kill me

Bring me home

Every way

Every day

Just another loop in the hangman`s noose

Take me, cure me, kill me, bring me home

Every way, every day I keep on watching us sleep

Relive the old sin of Adam and Eve

Of you and me

Forgive the adoring beast

Redeem me into childhood

Show me myself without the shell

Like the advent of May

I`ll be there when you say

Time to never hold our love

~My fall will be for you

My love will be in you

You were the one to cut me

So I`ll bleed forever ~(x10 fades out)
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Letter #2

These are fictional letters people. I do not make money, obviously, and unless you have lived under a rock, all rights belong to J.K and partners.
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Mordrid returned empty handed and thus I am presuming you have been terribly busy with life and all that it entails. Remus would tell you to sit back with a steaming cup of hot cocoa and forget it all. I think I am for the fire whiskey myself, but Remus seems to find comfort in the more innocent fractions.

Therefore, since I last wrote, indeed Dumbledore called a staff meeting, and it was needless to say, interesting. The other professors are a very eccentric bunch, but then being from the muggle world (which I have not told them, but I am sure they will figure it out eventually), I would expect nothing less.

Because I gave you my schedule last letter, I finally had the chance to meet those I would be working with for the upcoming year.

Prof. Bathsheba Babbling teaches Ancient Runes, and yes, her name describes her perfectly. She seems like she would be a riot at parties, but I think I must be careful what I say around her as well.

A very stoic woman, Prof. Minerva McGonagall, teaches Transfiguration. She gives the impression of a very maternal grandmother. She is also head of the Gryffindor House... very stoic indeed.

Oh, what a delightful man the Charms professor can be. Prof. Filius Flitwick, do not let his size fool you. He is a wizard duelling champion. Reminds me of “the old back in ‘Nam” story kind of person. He is also head of Ravenclaw House, and although I made the decision of not belonging to any particular house, I think he is trying to convince me to pick otherwise.

Professor Pomona Sprout teaches herbology, and is head of Hufflepuff. True to the Hufflepuff spirit, seems like a very loving, stay-true-to-you, individual. I think by my assisting in her class will also help with potions as well.

Obviously, I told you about Remus, and I will be assisting him in his DADA class. I am wondering about his extra-curricular life though. He missed our meeting last week and his excuse was that he must be hanging out with me too much and that it was his time of month. He is such a kidder.

I leave the last class only because I think it will take some time to explain this man without screaming my head off. The Potions professor... one, Severus Snape. He is head of Slytherin House. I can tell him and I will have many arguments to come. It almost felt like he was attempting to burrow into my mind, I took great offense to this (seeing, as I did not give him permission to do so) for some reason he was angered by my offense, and stormed off. Remus told me not to take most of what Severus does personally, but pities me for it is going to be difficult. Oh goody. Me thinks I will attempt a good will offering tomorrow and see if I can start fresh with him. Something tells me, it is going to be a long year.

Next week I begin training with the professors to which I will be assisting, which also gives them a chance to relax as well for school is just around the corner. I hope I will be as much help as Dumbledore thinks I can be.

Speaking of Dumbledore, maybe through your letter you can send some delicious lemon drops (the man loves his sweets, and warm socks (don’t ask, I know I didn’t)

Cheers,

Sappheire
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To make this easier, I am now posting all letters in "letters from hogwarts" blog (labelled on the right under: Legilimency and Occlumency

What can I do?

* For those who french is a little rusty.... "to sign (signing) petitions against capital punishment can save lives *
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Don't just sit there and ignore that around you. FEEL, ACT, DO!!

There is more to life then becoming apathetic to the screams around you. FEEL, ACT, DO!!

I beg, I plead for those without a voice. FEEL, ACT, DO!!

I will be that candle in the darkness of no light. FEEL, ACT, DO!!

Join me in the warmth of compassion and fight. FEEL, ACT, DO!!

-Disturbed Blue Dragon 2008

Alan Rickman RecitesThe Long War for Peace Day

The Long Warby Laurie Lee
Less passionate the long war throwsits burning thorn about all men,caught in one grief, we share one wound,and cry one dialect of pain.
We have forgot who fired the houseWhose easy mischief spilled first bloodUnder one raging roof we lieThe fault no longer understoodBut as our twisted arms embrace the desert where our cities stoodDeath’s family likeness in each face must show at last our brotherhood.